insanity infiltrates my brain (get out!)
I knew I shouldn't have gone to school today. My uncanny sixth sense from this morning could have saved me from an hour and a half of pure, 190 proof insanity. So, I have decided to blog about that insanity that I have gone through today, as well as some added insanity I experienced last week. This seems like a good time to mesh the two together and get it over with.On with the story! So, I have 3 classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but I only have to go to 2 most of the time (the third is photography, and I only have to attend on days when we present photos, which is what my second story pertains to). My first class, Spanish, is relatively easy. My second class, Art History II, you think I would like, because of all the cool art that was created in the time periods that we are studying at this point in time. Today we were studying Leonardo Da Vinci, and I just knew that one of these art students would bring in something about Dan Brown. Don't get me wrong, Dan Brown is a pretty good writer. I even read Angels and Demons, but his other book, The Da Vinci Code seems to have a negative effect on people who are not Christians. In fact, the book makes them zombies and they in turn, believe every single word or prophecy that he writes. Too bad they don't turn into real zombies, because then they could be more easily dealt with (you got red on you).
The whole class was looking at the painting, The Last Supper, by Da Vinci and our teacher was telling us about how the character to the left of Jesus (supposedly John or James) looks more like Mary Magdalene than a guy. The figure does look a little feminine, but it is way too blurry to actually tell who it is. Our teacher points out that it could be Mary, because she was considered an apostle as well. WHAT?!? From that point on, the conversation went haywire. One guy to my left raised his hand and spoke about how they (who's they? other women?) found scriptures written by women and that the church hadn't put it in the Bible before because it was women who wrote it and that isn't right. Several women in the class made comments supporting this statement, also saying that Bibles are now being re-printed to include the works of these women. All the while I was shaking my head and thinking that Guttenburg was turning in his grave. Next, my teacher gets this goofy looking smile on her face (which she does a lot) and says, "How many of you think that Jesus and Mary could actually have descendants in the world today?" Once again, I made myself known with a "No" and a shake of the head. However, I was drowned out by a chorus of "Yes". The reasoning that she used to prove to the class that it was, in fact Mary Magdalene to Jesus' right, was a system of pyramids. She said that the group of apostles to Jesus' right and left made up pyramids in form. The two pyramids come together to form a large "M", which (of course) represents Mary. Here, let me demonstrate:
Here's what I drew up to counter her pyramid theory:
Thankfully I am not a zombie. Zombies are definitely not cool.
My second story is a little bit shorter, but just as insane. Actually, it is more aggravating than anything. Last week, in photography class, we had our second photo presentation. My first one went well, except for the unbridled talking that was going on. Our second presentation was no different, except for one thing. In our first presentation, I presented second, because my name ends in a "B". On our second round of presentations, my teacher got the bright idea to switch it up and start from the end of the alphabet first. We can't leave early, and going to the bathroom, even to get away from the crazy people, was not tolerated, so I had to sit in the classroom for two hours, all the while listening to these people speak. Luckily, I stayed alive by moving my pencil back and forth in motions called "writing" and "drawing". Simply put, to pass the time, I drew cartoons of different people in the class that were annoying me, and I wrote down quotes from various people. Here are a few for your viewing pleasure:
"I find serenity and great peace in these photos."
~woman talking about a photo of a seagull
"This one of your dog is really cute! It's almost like he's saying 'watch me!'".
~girl commenting on picture of a chiuaua in a tutu
"It reminds me of taking time to relax."
~someone talking about a picture with a pair of ugly feet
"Your feet tell a story"
~same as above
"My grandparents have a peacock farm....so looking at your picture of the peacock feather reminds me of my grandparents."
~girl talking about a picture of a peacock feather, but clearly misunderstands that she is supposed to make a comment about the girl who took it, not of her own life
Hopefully, by tomorrow, my world will return to it's normal course, but one can never be too sure.
-brodie
posted by brodie @ 9:38 PM
5 Comments:
BLEYYHAHWWWWWWWHAHHAHAOOOOWWAAAAAGH
Are you sure that's what your teacher said about the giant "M"? Because I thought it was supposed to be that the so-called "Mary" and Jesus are forming an "M" (because of the angles at which they are facing away from each other). Plus their clothes are contrasting colors. I mean, come on, if you're wearing the same colors, it's obvious that you're making babies.
You know, it's a good thing Da Vinci was at the Last Supper and could record all this stuff for us. I mean, it would be terrible if a homosexual artist tried to subvert his patrons' religion by painting a woman into a scene that happened hundreds of years before his time and then pass it off as history. But thankfully, Da Vinci was there, so we know the truth.
that was a great little peek into your day, I was laughing about all the comments made in photography class. Like I said before, that happens in every photog class(it did in mine at least), but I guess its the price you pay for being able to take pictures as class assignments. Are there any good artists?
BTW...Dan Brown, in my opinion, is an awful writer. I am not just saying that because of The Da Vinci Code, either. He loses his readers with trying to add needless information to his "historical" fiction. He also created a novel that is so cheesy , that it shows us how unintelligent our culture is and what they look to for "deep" thinking.
From your sista in the ghetto
hmmm I love Dan Brown. I don't agree with him, but I love his books.
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