Tuesday, March 01, 2005

patience and kindness

Patience is a quality I lack. Simply put, I am one who earnestly wants to move through life with ease, and without being hindered. There are many things that hinder me from moving through life though. Kindness is a quality that I am trying to display in everything I do. Take tonight for example. When I am around people that say something mean or degrading (it doesn't have to be about me) I get mad, but I try not to let it get to me. I want to lash out at people for what they do or say, but I either lack the courage or the willpower that I deem neccessary to put a person in their place. Call me weak, but I won't balk. I'd rather turn the other cheek than give into what someone says or does.

Along the same lines, but a little different, I feel alone. I know that some of my friends go through similar situations with others. Sometimes I feel shut out, and my only way to express that shutting out is to pray. I pray that God would give me comfort, especially in a time like this, when I feel like it's me against the world. Then, and only then, do I feel at peace with what lies beyond my door. Everyday, when I step outside, I have to fight the same battles and face the same people. It's tearing me down, but I need to keep fighting the ever-growing battles I face with people. Peace and kindness are two characteristics I definately lack in, but prayer is something that helps me. Friends are also another thing that bring me back to the reality of living a Christian life. If I should be moulding (british for molding) my life to being more intuned to Christ's lifestyle, then I shouldn't go halfway. A big problem for me is I keep telling myself that I can change later, and keep doing the stuff I want now. That is living a lie, and I don't want to be living a lie. I want to grow, and I want to be surrounded by those who encourage me to do so.

So, I will be giving up on some stuff. Some may not see it at first, but it will be there. One thing I will not give up on is my striving for a better life. There are so many areas to work on, and before I die (which i hope will not be for some time) I will still have many things that I need to work on. God has certainly given me a gift, and my life is that one shot to serve Him in everything.

-luke

posted by brodie @ 10:32 PM

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